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  • Writer's pictureYvette Francis

Defining Self...

Updated: Oct 19, 2021

So who are you anyway?

Many years ago, at a time of great upheaval in my life, it occurred to me that I was not at all who I thought I was! On that day it became clear to me that I had, for years, been mistaking the roles I played for who I was; that I had been defining and judging myself by those roles. Daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, teacher were all roles that I had assumed at various times, and with what I deemed to be varying degrees of success, over the preceding years. However, truthfully none of them spoke of who I really was. The question then remained... who was I?

This dilemma came at a time when there had been a profound culling in my life. All the relationships, roles and have-tos that I had become so used to (if not altogether happy with) were no more; either due to my own choices or the actions of others. I then found myself in a space where I was freer than I had ever been but had no idea what was left in the absence of the roles that were no longer valid.

The experiences of the ensuing years have been a process of getting acquainted with exactly who I AM, and have taught me that for each person, who you truly are is indeed a discovery that you make as you fearlessly CHOOSE the content of your life! This real YOU is what fuels your passion and purpose. And when you are deeply connected with this person, you can then joyfully bring your own flavour to the roles that you may choose to play.

For me, self-discovery is an on-going process, but was initiated in those days by my willingness to spend quality time with myself; to truly SEE myself. Developing a meditation practice, and keeping in touch with my emotions through journaling, allowed me to find the feeling of calm and centredness from which I could explore my true motivations; the real reasons why I did things. I was able to see that the roles I played were not me; that I had choices if I dared to make them; that the only things worth doing were the ones that allowed me to be true to myself.

In time, I was able to let go of the things that I had out-grown, continue to do what I love in a

way that reflects my true self, and embrace new things that resonate with me. In this way I was able to find my passion and purpose, and live it joyfully! And this is my wish for you.

So the next time you have the opportunity to speak about yourself, try to avoid talking about what you do and the roles you play. Instead, dig deeper and fearlessly offer who you are in the absence of all that!

Have a beautiful day, celebrating the real YOU!



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